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1999 - the 18th Annual
King Mango Strut Liv’n in La City Loca and Slipping into the new millenium The Mango Madness Line-up (more or less) marching Disorder as best we can recall: 1. Welcome to the King Mango Strut 2. Old Glory Cub Scouts Pack 17 will carry the Flag and help old people across the street and earn their Strut Merit Badge. 3. Little Miss Mango Beauty Pageant 4. Y2K Bugs 5. “Wrong Turn of the Century” Their computer says it’s 1900. Dressed in period costume and will ask for directions to the Commodore’s house. They will have an old fashion band. 6. Dan Ricker’s 8th Annual Crushed Mango Community Disservice Awards 7. The One Ear Society Masterpieces strutterized. 8. New Orleans Progressive Marching Band 9. www.strut.com 10. The Strut’s Token Politician, our New City Commissioner Johnny Winton and his Family 11. The Mud Slingers: Carollo, Suarez and Ferre 12. Band: Been There, Done That with the Desperately seeking the Old Grove: From Hippies to the Cocaine Cowboys before developer ruin it! 13. Hillary Clinton for Senator 14. Sierra Club 15. Havana Debbie and her Dos Van Van 16. The Baboons 17. O.J., do we have a home for you in Coconut Grove! O.J. will pose for pictures with policemen who want desk duty. Will call 911 if he suspects you need rehab. 18. Sly Stallone’s Ten Commandments and his Ungrateful Servants 19. I-95 Road debris we really want to see! Airport Lobbyist, Rick Sanchez 20. The Alan’s Parson’s Witch Project 21. The Miami Circle Jerks: Can’t we just trade for $24 worth of trinkets? 22. T-shirts Vehicle 23. Columba Bush is back from Paris and she has “Nothing to Declare.” 24. Martha Stewart with Y2Kmart 25. “Attention Y2Kmart Shoppers” Will be selling Y2K compliant Toilet paper 26. The Battle for the Last Beanie Babies and the Pokemon Traders 27. Tomas Regalado’s Jeep Grand ‘Theft’ Jeep Cherokee Fuel for Friends Program Big Amoco Card “I need to drive around my district a lot, the other commissioners are driving me crazy.” 28. Joe Donato and the Y2K Song 29. Former State Senator Jack D. Gordon and his wife Myra MacPherson as Presidential Candidate Donald Strump and his latest Strumpette 30. Dave Barry for President “It’s Time We Demanded Less.”
Music Ruffles and Flourishes will be played down the streets of the Grove so that Dave can get used to the music. 31. Cosmos Kramer - He’s back!! 32. King Mango’s Dancing Grand Marshall: Sterling “Butch” “the Beamer” Warren with the Taurus BarFlies and RoadKill Band 33. The Killer Mayor and Her Hitmen: Dumb, Dumber, and Stupid Mayor Gilda Oliveros, Hialeah Garden’s high heeled, mini-skirt mayor will Strut with her hitmen. Mayor Murder Inc. 34. Don King presents: Hialeah County’s Raul ‘the Lover’ Martinez vs/ Miami-Dade County People’s Magazine: ‘the Sexiest’ Alex Penelas 35. American Airlines New Slogan: ‘No one can take you Higher or lose your luggage better’
36. NASA? Not Aiming Satellites Accurately! Mars ‘Flat’ Lander is not lost, will strut.
37. Harold Davis “Starship Blues Band” One man Band will play tech music 38. Miami - See it like a Rafter 39. Uncle Sam vs/Castro
40. The Mons: Pokiemon, Tokiemon, Cokiemon, Rastamon, Oyemon, Chinamon and Pokemon’s best friend Hokiemon and all the other inhabitants of the Pokemon world Need more Mons! 41. Satchmo Blues Band 42. Flop Millenium Productions “Come to Our New Years Eve Production - Our Biggest Flop Ever” 43. Earthman Project 44. Garden Car 45. Bonker Bikers Weird is as weird does. 46. Hare Krishnas Will sing and dance in traditional Indian costumes and chant the holy name of the lord. 46½ 8 1/2 square Mile Everglades Residents 47. #Phantom Zones 48. The Grim Reaper with a sign “the end is near” followed by a band truck with big sign in the back that reads “the end” 49. Robert Deresz, a.k.a. Bobby The Clean Up Clown 50. The Mocko Jumbie
We are still looking for Millenium Doomsday Cults. “Eat Mango Now!” “Jesus is coming look busy!” “Get ready to meet you maker!” Heavens Gate and Wacco, Texas …. Garrantee to kill themselves during the strut by choking on mango pits. |