The King Mango Strut, a parody on holiday parades, is set to go for the 20th year on Sunday, December 30th. At 2pm that day the streets of downtown Coconut Grove will come alive in a sea of red white & blue flags, teapots, clones & stemcells, mad cows, and sharks. Our theme this year is "UNITED WE STRUT!" But what we really want to say is, "What is it with Florida?"

After the tragedies that our nation has suffered in the last few months, the King Mango who brought you the Marching Chads, The League of Dead Voters, and the famous Marching Freds promises to bring much-needed comic relief. For the last 19 years the King Mango Strut has been making people happy and laughing silly. There is no better place for the strut than in Miami. Everything that happens has a South Florida connection. It provides more material than we'll ever use. As creative as we are, even we couldn't come up with some of this stuff.

The King Mango Strut activities begin at the corner of Commodore Plaza and Main Highway with the Little Miss Mango Pageant (for kids 3-9) at 1:30pm. After they all win, the banana is dropped and the Strut begins. It goes up Main Highway and then turns left onto Grand Avenue and turn left again at Commodore Plaza. If we are having too much fun we will go around again until we all fall down.

Security will be tight at this year’s event so arrive early. Everyone will be fondled and groped by officers of President Bush's newly formed Office of HomeBoy Security. Santa Clause will be there, pointing to the officers who have been naughty or nice. Anyone breaching security will be booty slapped. King Mango's own HAZMAT team will sweep and decontaminate strut route from petrified dog poop, suspicious bubble gum and really ugly people.

Other great groups in the Strut: Wake of the Dead Dot Coms, the Marching bins, Harry PotHead and the Sluts, Burger King's "Flame Broil Feet," the Rolling Stones in their "No Social Security" tour sing their latest hit "I can't get no Metamucil," and the Battling Carollos duking it out with teaboxes.

The TaliBeach Boys presented by Sheik Clark host of the popular show Afgani Bandstand will make their only US tour stop at the Strut with their favorite groupies, the TaliBunnies. Other groups on the tour are the TaliTubbies eating their yummy packages that fell from the sky and the TaliBarber Brigade.

After the Strut, the Post-Strut party billed as the World's Largest Janet Reno Dance Party will immediately begins with the band RoadKill playing on the back of a Shell Lumber truck. At 4:30pm Bill Wharton a.k.a. The Sauce Boss, the one Jimmy Buffet sang about in his song “I will play for Gumbo," and his band The Ingredients will play and preach "The Gospel according to Gumbo.”